Muggles and Magic

I am a student at Catlin Gabel, an amazing school with amazing teachers. But what would it be like if the Ministry of Magic sent Hogwarts teachers and students undercover to Catlin to learn more about Muggles? If Cultures was taught by Professor Bins, how many people would stay awake? If Science were taught by Professor Snape, who would he pick on? If PE was taught by Madam Hooch, would we play Quidditch? What if the Ministry sent students too? Would Luna Lovegood be thought crazy if she was not allowed to talk about wrackspurts? Would Draco Malfoy be as mean without his family’s reputation to back him up? How long would it be before someone gave the game away and performed magic in the presence of a muggle classmate? Or on a muggle? What would it be like if Hogwarts came to Catlin? I can imagine to scene:

Ministry of Magic, summer of Harry Potter’s third year at Hogwarts

After a long day of meetings, Cornelius Fudge was about to step into the fire that would bring him to Dumbledore’s office when Fudge’s secretary hurried up.

“Sir,” he said, “I have a request from Charity Burbage, Muggle Studies teacher at Hogwarts sch-”

“Well, get on with it.” Fudge interrupted impatiently. The secretary replied immediately,

“She would like to send a small team of Hogwarts students and teachers to some muggle school called Catlin Gabel.”

“To do what?”

“Learn more about muggles of course.”

“And you are bothering me about this why?”

“Under stanza one of-”

“Get to the point.”

“The law says that she needs your permission.” The secretary replied hurriedly.

“Permission granted.”  said Fudge,

McGonagall's office, first day of school, Hermione is getting her time turner

Professor McGonagall told Hermione that,

“Unfortunately, you signed up for more classes then there are periods, so I am going to give you a time-turner. This will allow you to be in two places at once, but you must not be seen. Horrible things have happened to to wizards who meddle with time. Do you agree to this?”

“Of course” Hermione said brightly.

“Good.” Professor McGonagall replied “One more thing: Charity Burbage is organizing a group of Hogwarts teachers and students to infiltrate a muggle school called Catlin Gabel so that we can learn more about muggles. We would like you to join this group. You will use your time-turner to attend class there each day.”

“O.K.” Hermione replied slowly. “But why me?”

“You are muggle born so you know what muggles expect, also you are an extremely bright student who can be trusted to keep this secret. One last thing, you may not tell any of your friends, not even Weasley and Potter. You are excused miss Granger.”

Catlin Gabel,Science class

“Potions, I mean science” Snape started.

“Did you just say ‘potions’?” half the class interrupted.

“As I was saying-” Snape tried again.

“It is weird to have a science teacher who believes in potions” Someone finished for him. Snape glared around the room, “If I find out who said that I will make sure that they get detention for a week.”

“We don’t have detention here.” Bristol said.

“In that case”, Snape sneered, “I will just have to ‘accidentally’ let class out 20 minutes late today.”

Everyone except Neville, a new student, groaned. Neville did not groan because he was too afraid of what Snape would do to him if he did; however, this proved to be a mistake.

“Nevil didn’t groan.” Snape said. “Maybe it is because he thinks he deserves it. Neville you will spend lunch with me as punishment for your cheek in making that nasty comment.”

“But…” Neville started

“No ‘buts’ Neville” said Snape

“Um” said John “You have wasted, like, have the class.”

“As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, science is the art of mixing things to create reactions.” Said Snape.

“No,” said Hermione “Science is about trying things and watching what happens and then explaining why it happens. Science is also about explaining how things work and using that knowledge to improve our world.”

“Knowledge” said Luna, “Knowledge is the most important tool of all, however incorrect knowledge holds us back.”

“It is now time for recess” Snape said, “Malfoy can go because he is an exceptional student, everyone else must stay for 20 minutes because I don’t like you.”

“But Malfoy didn’t contribute at all.” Said Ginny.

“Since when did that matter?” Asked Nevil glumly.

Catlin Gabel, Cultures class

“Today we will be learning about imperial China” Professor Bins started “The Han dynasty of China came to an end in a.d. 220. For the next 300 years, China had no central government. The country collapsed into separate kingdoms, and the Chinese people suffered many hardships. Warlords—military leaders who rule local territories—fought each other. Meanwhile*,...” By this time Hermione was the only one taking notes. Half the class was asleep and the other half was chatting.

“Pay attention” said Professor Bins.

“Why should we pay attention to you?” Asked Neville who was delighted that he could do whatever he wanted without having points subtracted from Gryffindor.

“Because I am the teacher” Said Professor Bins.

“A super boring teacher.” Said Owen.

“How did you get this job anyway?” Asked Scooch.

“I applied just like everyone else. Now, as I was saying Warlords—military leaders who rule local territories—fought each other. Meanwhile…” the students, who had temporarily perked up and payed attention while Professor Bins was being insulated, went back to sleep and class continued as normal.

Catlin Gabel, The Barn, Lunchtime

“Hey Luna, do you want to sit with us?”

“Luna, I like your earrings, are they radishes?”

“Luna, your name is really pretty.”

“Look Luna is popular here.” Ginny said to Hermione.

“Maybe” said Hermione, “it’s because now that she isn’t talking about wrackspurts or anything people can see how awesome she it.”

“I’m glad.” Said Ginny.

“Me too.” Said Hermione.

Catlin Gabel, PE

Madam Hooch walked into the gym and blew her whistle.

“Today we will be playing quidditch” she said “One person will put on this yellow penni. They will be the ‘snitch’. On each team there will be 2 ‘seekers’. It is their job to tag the ‘snitch’. Whichever team’s ‘seeker’ tags the ‘snitch’ gains 150 points. When the snitch is tagged the game ends.” Madam Hooch held up two balls.

“These two balls are the ‘bludgers’. On each team there are two ‘beaters’. Their job is to catch bludgers being thrown at other players and to throw ‘bludgers’ at the other team. If you get hit by a bludger you’re out.” Madam Hooch held up another ball. She said,

“This ball is called the ‘quaffle’. If you are not a ‘snitch’, ‘keeper’, ‘beater’, or ‘seeker’ then you are a ‘chaser’. It is the ‘chasers’ job to get the ‘quaffle’ into one of your opponent’s three goal posts. Every time your team scores you gain 10 points. The team with the most points at the end of the game wins.”

“That's not how you play quidditch, you need broomsticks.” Said Malfoy.

Hermione hissed, “Magic does not exist.”

Malfoy scoffed, “Of course  it doesn’t to you, you’re a mudblood.”

“Remember,” Hermione threatened, “your family's reputation doesn’t protect you here.” Hermione raised her wand, “Eat slugs!” She shouted. As Malfoy vomited slugs his classmates starred. Then they, looking very impressed, turned to Hermione and asked, “You can use magic?”

Hermione answered “Yes.”

“Will you teach us?”

From then on Malfoy was much less mean.

I think that if some Hogwarts teachers and students came to Catlin it would not work very well because many of the teachers at Hogwarts are not very good teachers. Also, students at Hogwarts don’t learn things like math and science, so they would be very behind at Catlin. Teachers would need to teach about things that they did not know. Eventually someone would notice that they could do magic or, a muggle would see some sort of magical artifact. On the other hand “Muggles” are past the point of witch-hunts (hopefully). If magic was revealed to muggles it might not turn out to badly. Over all, however I think that magical learning should stay at Hogwarts.

*Spielvogel, Jackson J. Discovering Our Past: A History of the World. Columbus,

    McGraw-Hill Education, 2018.

image of Ministry of Magic: https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/harrypotter/images/e/e5/Ministry.JPG/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/2000?cb=20101122224927

image of Luna Lovegood: https://images.pottermore.com/bxd3o8b291gf/Mam68Vfou2OO6kqEcyW8W/a9abc28e1e15bdd7d57f6257f3fed897/LunaLovegood_WB_F6_LunaLovegoodInQuibblerSpecsOnHogwartsExpress_Still_080615_Port.jpg?w=1200

image of Hermione and Malfoy: http://screeninvasion.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/A23.jpg