To be told that my pain is not validated that my hurt is fake because, I don't try hard enough. That I don't do anything, because I'm a musician, and that's what musicians do. Musicians also practice 4 hours a day, wake up at 5 am, and get arthritis when they are 12 years old, because being a musician isn't just a hobby, it's a full-time job. It takes up your whole life. We go to practices like an athlete does, we go to concerts like an athlete goes to games, and we train like an athlete does, but yet, we are not treated as one. We are treated as though we are weak, lazy, as if our hard work doesn’t amount to anything. Because although we work and practice the same or even more than athletes, there is still a large bias against committed musicians. I asked Lizbeth Carreno and Shin Young Kwon, violinists from the Oregon Symphony, and they said that many people don’t believe that being a full-time musician is an actual job. They also think that every time you pick up your instrument, you feel immense happiness. While it is very rewarding in the end, to get there you have to go through a lot. Practice long hours, sometimes on a single measure. You will get hurt a lot; your fingers usually are riddled with calluses and turn black from the combination of the fingerboard and sweat. There is also the daunting fear that something will happen to your wrist or fingers that could end your career. As for me, I am also a committed violinist. I attended Interlochen, an intense arts academy in Michigan this past summer, and I plan to apply to high school there. During last season, as I was preparing for the many auditions it took, I started to feel tingling in my fingers which then spread to my wrist and eventually to my whole arm, which was from the long hours and stress of the upcoming auditions and competitions.
I was not able to play as long, or as much as I would’ve liked, and every morning and night I slathered my arm with muscle relevant gel, in hopes that it would slow the process that might one day prevent me from pursuing something that I love. During that time of uncertainty, I felt like I didn’t have anyone but my teacher, Shin Young Kwon, who understood. I was scared, and my parents pushed and pushed me to keep practicing, even if I was hurting. My teachers didn’t care, or in some cases pushed me even harder, in classes like PE, I was constantly being compared to my brothers, who are division 1 tennis players. I feel as though if my peers and people close to me hadn’t of labeled me, and supported me more, I would have gotten through this time more successfully, and come out as a better violinist and overall person.
